I have lived in this world 54 years. I have learned a few important lessons. I want to share a few of those lessons with you.

1. Legos can be used as a torture device. Don’t believe me? Scatter a few on the floor and then accidentally step on them, and you will see.

2. The words “seriously” and “really” should always be used properly. Seriously!

3. Squirrels like nuts. Who knew?

4. Pasteurized processed cheese food is not cheese. Since I support cheese rights, I refuse to eat food that belongs to cheese.

5. Men, your wife doesn’t want you to fix her problem. She wants just you to listen to her tell you how she feels.

6. Cats don’t have owners, they have staff.